Sitting on my couch thinking about the recent purchase of our new home and just being in absolute awe of the fact that we actually have a house. I’ve always known that I’d be a homeowner one day but no matter how much we planned in expectation when the blessing hit it hit…different. What do I mean by that? Well, in my mind I imagined things going smoothly. We find a house, we purchase the house, move in, decorate (implementing all my gorgeous pins from Pinterest) and live happily ever after. In real life, not so much. The home buying process is not for the faint of heart and anyone who has ever purchased a house would agree but I want to talk about the additional unexpected challenges I faced once our home was purchased.
New Friends (but not really)
I never expected people to attach themselves to me in a way they had not in the past as a result of my new home. It is the weirdest thing. People are inviting themselves to my housewarming party, volunteering themselves to help me decorate or just flat out inviting themselves over. Mind you, these are not people I talk to regularly and there aren’t many people that I speak with on a consistent basis that I would be fine with if they popped up. That’s not all, I have received so many inquiries for my new address, the area I live in, the square footage of my home, how much we are paying for it, and the number of bedrooms and bathrooms. I mean it does not end! To be quite honest, none of the above is anyone’s business!!! After having conversations with my mom, husband and close friends I now understand what the inquiries are about…comparison. We live in a society now where some people feel as though they have to stay one step ahead of the next person in reference to possessions. If this person drives a Mercedes then I HAVE to drive a Porsche. Or if this person’s home is 5000 square feet then mine MUST be 7000 square feet. So stupid but it’s happening. I’m not into playing silly games. Never have been and I don’t intend to start now. I say be grateful for what you have and be happy for others. That’s it!
Side note: there are people who are genuine and ask questions out of curiosity to help them make decisions about their own purchases or genuinely want to know how everything is going. Not speaking to those people. I’m speaking to the people who are inquiring with ill intentions. I’ve never had an issue sharing information but this experience has made me question the motives of a lot of people and I have decided to leave them and their foolishness in 2019!
The Pressure
Some days I feel enormous pressure to get everything in order all in one day. I try to clean, purge, organize, decorate, etc. all at once and the truth is that I am doing more harm than good. The piles and boxes may be disappearing but my body is suffering from lack of rest. Some of the pressure I’ve been experiencing stems from social media. Over the years I have collected hundreds of pictures on Pinterest of beautiful homes in anticipation of the day I have my own home to decorate and now that the time has come to do so, I feel as though every inch of my home is supposed to be picture-perfect, leaving no room to relax and enjoy the accomplishment of becoming a homeowner. I am slowly learning that it takes time to settle in. After speaking with friends and family who are also homeowners and learning that it took them years to fully settle in, I am showing myself a bit of grace and taking my time. I find that when I take my time things flow better and I make better decisions with purchases.
Expense Overload
It doesn’t take a genius to know that purchasing a home hits your pockets pretty deeply. That is why it is advised to save as much as possible before doing so. After purchasing our home we knew we wanted to make some changes but we had no idea the price tag some of those changes came with. We thought a simple task like having the walls painted would be quick and painless. What we did not factor in was our high ceilings and doors, going from a dark paint to light paint, labor costs, etc. I’m sure we could’ve had uncle Bob on the corner who happens to paint to come and get the job done but I am extremely picky and only wanted the best person for the job to paint our home. We found a great company but it did not come cheap. There were a lot of other things that took us by surprise because we never had to deal with most of these things in our previous home. Landscaping was another big expense because again, I’m super picky. We had to hire an electrician for certain jobs, enhance the lighting throughout the house, have the carpet cleaned and sterilized and the list goes on and on. This is not a complaint, just a huge eye-opener. Looking on the bright side, this situation provided us with information to help others looking to purchase a home in the future.
Imposter Syndrome
I believe in God’s plan for my life and I also believe He knows the desires of my heart and will bring them forth when He sees fit. I know that our new home is the result of faith and hard work. But there are times when I am walking around my home and think at any second someone will come and knock on the door and tell us we have 24 hours to get out! I get it, I know the home is ours and we own it but man it seems so unreal at times. I guess that’s the thing about God-dreams/blessings, sometimes they are so good it’s hard to believe it’s real. What I need to work on understanding is that I am worth owning a home this gorgeous. I deserve waking up day in and day out to sounds of birds singing in my backyard. I deserve being able to send my son outside to play and not have to worry about his safety and to hear him say he loves his new home. I deserve to nurture and love my family in this house while turning it into a forever home. I deserve it. I am worth it.
All that said, I look forward to all the wonderful things that will take place in our new home. Enjoying it with our wonderful friends and family while creating lovely memories. If you have a dream in your heart, keep working towards it. Sooner or later it will happen, just make sure you are prepared for things to happen a little differently than how you planned it. Prepare to be pleasantly overwhelmed.
With Love,
Shara
The blessings of the Lord makes a person rich, and He adds no sorrow with it
Proverbs 10:22
